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show me, don’t tell me

~ Anthony Lee Collins ~ Leave a comment

The title of this post refers back to this one, which tackled the same question from a somewhat different direction.

However, first I wanted to mention that I've recently realized that it's possible the character of Daphne the dog was influenced by Susie the Bear in The Hotel New Hampshire. Probably not in her creation, but quite possibly in her development.

However (and it's been a long time since I've read the novel or seen the film, so I could be wrong), I seem to remember that the point there was to get Susie out of her bear suit and back to being human, which is not the point with Daphne. If I'd written that book, Susie would have stayed ursine (and she would have stayed gay, too, since apparently part of her "healing" process was becoming straight), and John and Franny would have ended up together. And poor Frank would have got to have a boyfriend at some point, instead of just being "gay" but apparently celibate throughout the many years covered by the novel.

(I also have a mental image of Daphne regarding Susie in her bear outfit and paraphrasing Laurence Olivier: "My dear girl, why don't you try acting?")

This is not a major criticism of the novel or of the movie, both of which I enjoyed. And it does lead me to another, somewhat related, topic.

In an email with a reader, I talked about how much more there always is to tell about fictional characters:

Even with three novels, there's a lot we don't know about Jan Sleet, for example. We have a general picture of where and how she grew up, and in the story being told now her academic history will be discussed, but there's a lot we don't know. Even more true of starling, for another example, who has mentioned details of her history only a few times.

He responded:

I like that, though, because that means there is always more to learn – and more for you (the author) to write about as the character remains interesting. [...] (But please don't pull a Rowling and make a statement about the character outside of the books themselves. If it were worth remarking on, it should have been incorporated into the work itself.)

I agree about how that was handled, though I have no problem with Dumbledore being gay. I understand that, in all those thousands of pages, there aren't any gay characters, which is peculiar.

If, for some reason, Rowling decided after the fact that she had to specify Dumbledore's sexual preference, she could have done what many other authors have done after they've created a fictional universe. She could have written a short story (especially since the backstory of Dumbledore and Grindelwald sounds like it could be quite exciting). That's what John Galsworthy did in between the novels in The Forsyte Saga. That's what Tolkien did with various stories about Middle-Earth. That's what Roger Zelazny did when he wrote short stories about Amber. And, of course, that's what I'm doing now with the murder mysteries.

On another topic, from this month's Q&A at the Chicago Manual of Style website:

Q. In my essay, I have referred to a couple of articles passed to me by an interviewee. They are photocopied, and the article titles and dates are either blurred or missing. How should I footnote and biblio the photocopied materials?

A. These are not proper sources and you must not quote them. I’m sorry – it would be very sloppy scholarship. You might as well write, "I overheard this on the subway." You might take the photocopies to a library and ask the reference librarian if she can help you find some clues as to their origin. Or try typing a distinctive phrase from the pages into a search engine and see if the article appears online.

I must say, I thought that was fairly obvious.

comments on “the funeral”

~ Anthony Lee Collins ~ Leave a comment

In reading the chapter The Funeral, Cyndi commented on Marshall’s reaction to the news that starling is living in Pete’s apartment. He’s met Pete and considers him fairly normal and respectable (for a rock and roll musician, at least), so he can’t really accept the fact that Pete is friends with starling.

This isn’t meant to show that Marshall is wrong or peculiar, but more that this would be a pretty common reaction in this situation. If anything, in this situation, it’s Pete whose reaction is unusual, though not unusual for him.

But even Pete’s relaxed, bohemian approach to these things is tested by what he learned at the end of the last chapter, of course.

Cyndi got a laugh out of this:

“Good God,” Marshall said, leaning back on the bed, “the poor bastard didn’t stand a chance.”

I commented that Marshall is always working to contain and control his employer’s sexuality, and to belittle her attractiveness, in various ways, to which Cyndi remarked, “Feh.”

In Marshall’s defense, I mentioned that this game the two of them play is far from being as unequal as it might appear at this point.

Cyndi also commented on Jan Sleet’s not remembering the name of the young man she had the date with. I commented that she probably did remember his name, and was just playing it casual. I also mentioned that we would meet the man in question, Dennis, in a later chapter.

One thing Cyndi commented on was that Marshall is in a situation, unusual for him, where he is being noticed for himself, not just as the assistant of a fairly well known reporter and amateur detective. Both Vicki and the Jinx, especially Dr. Lee, are quite interested in Marshall for himself, including inviting him to a funeral to which is employer is specifically not invited. As I say, this is an unusual situation for him, but it is one which he, rather quietly, enjoys.

Pete is in a precarious situation at the funeral, though only he is aware of it, because only he is aware of how conflicted starling is about being there. He persuaded her to come, but he knows there is a very real chance she will flip out and people will die. This is not a situation she would ever have let herself be in under normal circumstances.

This leaves Pete very little attention for other questions, like how Donna feels about what Frances says to her, for example.

But it’s not just the worry that starling will kill somebody, though he can tell himself that’s the main issue. But the main thing is that he cares about her, more than he would admit to anybody, including himself.

Which is mutual. In this exchange, I show it in miniature: “I’m going to get another beer,” she said, getting to her feet. She thought for a moment, then she added, “I’ll get one for you, too.” She hesitated. “Do you want one?”

A friend I knew on the BBSs years ago, named Bob Bernstein, said that in his work as a therapist, with some patients the most important thing he could do was to (re)teach them how to relate to other people, using their sessions with him as a classroom, so they could learn the skills they could then apply in other relationships in their lives. When he said this, it really gave me the key to starling’s relationship with Pete (which is why Bob got a thank you here). This is what Pete is doing with starling, not intentionally, but simply by being willing to accept her for what she is, by being willing to treat her as a person, without pre-judging her for what she’s done. In that little excerpt above, we see her (as I say, in miniature, in one paragraph), start to figure out how to include someone else in her life, how not to be so completely alone as she has been for a long time.

(Reminder to myself: Add Cyndi and a couple of others to the Thanks page.)

One thing that’s interesting about Christy is that, as Cyndi and I discussed, she’s fairly “girly” (shy and awkward about her attraction to Marshall, wearing skirts and glowing stuff in her hair), but you can never forget that she’s a Jinx. She’s unfazed by starling, she’s not fazed by very much, as we (and Marshall) will see more in the next chapter.

The coffee scene strikes me funny at this point (starling and Pete buying the special coffee), because when I first wrote that scene, I set the price at $2 a cup, which at that point (over ten years ago) was a ridiculously high price for a cup of coffee. When I was rewriting it a couple of years ago, I raised it to $4. I obviously should have made it more, but it’s difficult to come up with a ridiculously high price for a cup of coffee these days which doesn’t become commonplace the week after. I should write a PHP script to increase the price on a regular basis, trying to keep it ahead of reality.

I also mentioned the agreement between starling and Pete, that she will be his friend. One thing which they have in common is that they are not, as the phrase goes, “in touch with their emotions,” and so they had to find a way to be together, which they both obviously want to do, without either one of them having to actually talk about how they feel. This is one reason I’ve emphasized in a couple of places how similar they look (height, build, hair color) because, despite their obvious differences, they are very similar in many ways.

This chapter and the next one used to be one chapter, but I broke it into two partly because I really didn’t want another very long chapter right after Curse the Darkness, but also to highlight this moment, their agreement, because it looks like it’s not that big a deal, but it sets the course for the rest of both of their lives, including in the chapter I’m writing now, where things will take a sudden turn that neither of them anticipated.

Speaking of that chapter, Undertown, the first part is posted here. More will be made available as it’s completed (and my usual little teasers will be added to each part). And thanks also to Cyndi for reminding me of the Undertown project, which is about to become a major plot point in the new novel.

a chapter, some comments, and an international holiday

~ Anthony Lee Collins ~ Leave a comment

New Chapter

The new chapter (In the Hotel Bar) is done. At the moment, it’s only available in the full-chapter version, since dividing it up into parts (as I usually do first) will require some fancy PHP coding, which I haven’t done yet.

The reason it will require fancy coding is that there are two versions of the chapter, one for people who haven’t read the earlier novels, and one for people who have. The second (longer) version contains a lot more background information, specifically on the family, which would be tedious and irrelevant for people who haven’t read A Sane Woman and U-town. The A Visit to Perry chapter was like that also, but that only involved inserting or removing a few extra paragraphs here and there. With the current chapter, whole parts will be added or subtracted, which will require setting up a system which will renumber the parts automatically as you read. As I say, I’ll do this, but probably not right away.

At the moment I want to get a little more work done on the next chapter (Undertown). I’ve told a couple of people that the chapter after that might be called Undertown Evolution, but apparently I’m the only person who thinks that’s funny.

Bloomsday

Bloomsday was Friday, and it made me think of the influence of James Joyce, and specifically Ulysses, on what I’m doing.

The influence is strong, but mostly indirect. Joyce was not the biggest influence on my writing, but he was a huge influence on Samuel R. Delany, the author of Dhalgren and Triton, and William Burroughs, for two examples. And they are probably the two biggest influences on my writing (at least the two most influential writers). Their writing is very different, but neither would have done what he did if Joyce hadn’t come first.

more comments on “Curse the Darkness”

As promised last week (and I’ve removed the promise to do it in “a couple of days,” since I didn’t 🙂 ), here are the rest of the comments Cyndi made on the Curse the Darkness chapter of U-town.

Daphne

Cyndi pointed out that if you miss Daphne’s first appearance (or space out when you’re reading it), you could easily read some of her later appearances without figuring out that she’s a human being. I was not really aware of this (since I’m always aware that she’s a human being), but I can definitely see how could be true.

As for why she acts like a dog (most of the time), she doesn’t say. It started as a sexual game with Carl (with Carl, “sexual game” might be redundant), but obviously she found it suited her. If you ask her why, she’ll bark, and perhaps she’ll lick your hand.

Petronius and Chesterton

The way Pete and Chet call each other “Petronius” and “Chesterton” is just a drunken joke which took on a life of its own, as these things can do. The main thing is reflects is that these guys have spent quite a bit of time drinking together.

Vicki and Paris

As Cyndi mentioned, Vicki and Paris are both very young, and they start to move toward being friends, but then when he asks her if she wants to join his gang, this bothers her. And she doesn’t trust him the way she trusts Pete, maybe because she’s pretty sure Pete doesn’t want anything from her.

Vicki and Pete

Vicki was troubled by Paris’s offer for her to join his gang, and she first thinks of talking to Pete about it, since Pete is familiar with the people involved, but when she goes to talk to him, he’s obviously too wrapped up with his own (and starling’s) problems. She really doesn’t want to dump new problems on his head, and he probably wouldn’t have a lot of attention to devote to giving her good advice anyway.

Pete and starling

At the end of the chapter, though, when Pete figures out what’s been going on with starling, he finds he has even more to occupy his attention than he did when Vicki dropped by for her visit. This is connected to the moment in the Prove It chapter when he found himself saying, “[…]and she’s a friend of mine.”

She has become his friend, much to his surprise, and this makes some problems even more difficult to solve than they would be otherwise.

comments on “curse the darkness”

~ Anthony Lee Collins ~ Leave a comment

My friend Cyndi and I were chatting online while she was reading Curse the Darkness, Chapter 9 of U-town, and she had some interesting comments, as usual.

She noticed that this was the first time I mentioned T.C.’s full name, which gave me a chance to point out the reference to Ulysses (“Stately, plump Theresa Carbonieri…”). We also discussed T.C.’s cooking, which is good as long as you don’t mind that she smokes while she cooks.

We spoke about Vicki, who is still upset that her mother sent her away to live with the Wasserman family. We talked about this in relation to a story Cyndi is working on, where a single mother could have made a similar decision, under somewhat different circumstances, but didn’t. And, it’s the sort of decision where, even if you figure out later that it was a mistake, you can’t just change your mind. As I said, parents usually try to do what they think is the right thing, but sometimes they’re wrong.

Cyndi commented on Marshall’s reverie about spending the rest of his life with Jan Sleet. As I said, “He signed on for a job, and it’s turned out to be a lot more than that. And it basically suits him, but he worries sometimes about how complete a commitment it is, and how much he has turned over control of his life.”

She optimistically thought during the hospital scene with Henshaw and Drenkenson that they might end up as friends again. I pointed out that they never were friends, just members of the same band.

She asked if Paris was homeless, since he seems very well versed in the homeless life. I said that it’s not definitely set (we never see Paris at home, and he never refers to the question), but that in U-town a lot of people are squatters, living in buildings without heat, that sort of thing, including Pete and Carl, though they’re fairly comfortable. They’re both musicians, after all, so their standards are not high.

(more to come)

comments on “live through this”

~ Anthony Lee Collins ~ Leave a comment

My friend Cyndi and I were chatting online while she was reading Live Through This, Chapter 8 of U-town. I saved the log, of course, and I was thinking of using it as my latest blog entry. However, it proved unwieldy to edit, and it would have been way too long, so I decided to summarize it instead (Cyndi’s idea, I confess).

Many of her comments were about the characters, so that’s how I’ll organize the first part of this.

Jennifer Owens

I commented that this is sort of the “All Jenny Owens all of the time” chapter, where you really get to know and (perhaps) appreciate her after she’s dead, which is sort of the situation Pete is in. Cyndi said that, when Jenny died, she was not that upset, and I thought that was partly because she didn’t really know Jenny that well yet.

Jenny is generally disgruntled about her life. As starling says to her, “You’re the girlfriend.” And she gets to sit in the “girlfriend seat” at the rehearsal. It doesn’t bother starling, when Henshaw tells her to sit there, because she knows she’s not the “girlfriend.” And besides, if it did bother her, she’d shoot him. She doesn’t let resentment build up.

And, as Cyndi pointed out, Jenny is hormonal and pregnant (and overheated in the rehearsal room) so that doesn’t help her mood at all.

Philip Henshaw

Cyndi had a couple of comments about Henshaw, one of which was that he seemed very controlling and orderly, and the other was that he sometimes didn’t seem to care very much about Jenny.

The former is definitely true, Henshaw wants to run things, and he always has a plan of where he wants to end up.

As for how he feels about Jenny, I think he enjoys the relationship (which isn’t the same thing as really caring about the other person), and he enjoys the fact that he “took her away from Tom.” And he does regard her as a valued possession (she’s attractive and tough and sexy and interesting), which is why he reacts as he does when someone touches her in a way he doesn’t appreciate.

He is complex, not really a “good guy” or a “bad guy.” There are reasons the Jinx like him, and, as Pete later points out, Henshaw wouldn’t have bailed out on Jenny as Pete did. Actually, he is, in many ways, a fairly typical guy, the sort of guy who’s good if you’re another guy, not so great if you’re a woman.

“After all, you don’t tell your woman what a beautiful body she has, make love to her, and then laugh when she can’t get into her pants. Especially not if you can accomplish the same thing with a glance.” (Cyndi said this made her laugh out loud, and it’s pretty telling about how Henshaw treats Jenny.)

starling and Pete

I revealed to Cyndi that one thing starling deals with all the time is that she has killed some people who weren’t strangers. This sticks in her mind as she meets new people, and as they maybe become important to her, that maybe they’d be better off if she went somewhere else. Cyndi pointed out that this has really isolated her, and that’s no way to live.

I had a friend once, on the BBSs, who was a therapist, and he said the most important thing he had to do in some therapeutic relationships was to re-teach the patient how to connect with other people, teaching them skills they could apply in general, using the therapeutic relationship as an example to the patient. And that’s what, unintentionally, Pete does with starling, because, for all his other weaknesses, he is incredible accepting and non-judgmental.

Cyndi said she liked Pete, and I said that you almost have to, you just root for him to be better in some ways, because there are things he needs to get fixed, too. He is, as Cyndi commented, good natured (especially compared to Henshaw), but ultimately he isn’t any better to Jenny than Henshaw is.

Secrets

This came up when I was watching Good Night and Good Luck (highly recommended, by the way). There are two characters in the movie who are married, which they are keeping secret since corporate policy at CBS was that no two employees could be married. At the end, it turns out that everybody who worked with them knew. This reminded me about Pete, who was sure he and Jenny were being crafty about their affair, but after the fact he finds out that most of the people around them knew all about it.

This came up in our chat because Cyndi asked if Jenny’s friend Cassie knew she was pregnant. I said I suspected she did, but that she wasn’t saying anything because Jenny hadn’t mentioned it to her. That’s often how it is. You think nobody knows your secret, whatever it is, but usually they do, and they aren’t mentioning it because you don’t.

Appropriate Behavior

Cyndi asked what the hell Jenny was doing drinking beer when she’s pregnant, and I pointed out that people do all kinds of things when they’re pregnant (drink, smoke, etc.). I wondered about adding a little disclaimer, “Please do not try this at home.”

As I’ve said before, I’m waiting for somebody to complain about all the smoking the characters do. Then I can say, “starling kills people over coffee creamers, and you’re worried about smoking?”

Method Acting

We also discussed the necessity of letting your characters do what they want from time to time (as much as possible, in fact). You can’t just push them around like chess pieces, or that’s how they will come across to the reader (who probably won’t be a reader for very long).

With the rehearsal scene in this chapter, I just set it up, decided when the guys were going to break in, and let it play out. It was a little bit of a risk, since if anybody (in or around the band) had died, it wouldn’t have worked, since this was a flashback and we know they all survived. But I had an idea they would survive, especially since starling was there.

I’ve done that with other parts as well, like the conversation at the end of the On Separate Stars chapter, which went in a direction I’d never have expected, but it was true to the characters. My thinking about this is influenced by Dave Sim, who said he used the same technique in the scenes where he entered Cerebus as a character and had conversations with the main character. He pre-planned what he wanted to talk about, but then just let Cerebus respond how he would. If you know your characters very well, if you can really put yourself in their shoes for a while, you can do this.

comments on “starling”

~ Anthony Lee Collins ~ Leave a comment

Cyndi has commented on starling, chapter seven of U-town. My responses to her comments are in italics.

is the scene with Carl, Jenny and starling a flashback? I assume it is since Carl and Jenny are dead now, but it’s a little unclear to me. you make it clear later, when focusing on Pete and starling, but it’s unclear before then.

The entire chapter is a flashback, and the chapter after it as well. In the next chapter, we’ll see the day before the gig, and the morning of the day itself, leading up to the beginning of the Prove It chapter, when Pete and Jenny are in bed together.

starling was already in Pete’s life during the earlier chapters, but she wasn’t around on the afternoon or evening of the gig at the Quarter, and we’ll see why. It seemed like a good idea to show the other characters and relationships before introducing starling, to make it clearer what she’s coming into.

Then, with Curse the Darkness, we jump back to the “present.”

interesting that starling is considered the most dangerous woman in the world. are you going to detail why, later? I mean from what I already know, she handles guns and (I presume) knives very well.

The clues are in the newspaper headlines (and in how people react to her, of course). She’s killed a lot of people.

the scene when everyone meets at the apartment again is a little bit lighthearted to me. I like the tone of that. with the chaos at once. I especially liked Carl’s response: “All this yelling is disturbing to a person of my delicate artistic temperament . . .”

Well, it shows how wrapped up they are in their own lives (especially Henshaw and Jenny) that the arrival of a famous mass murderer into their midst barely affects them at all.

interesting that you note that Henshaw and Jenny neither one looked exactly happy while making out. it makes me wonder why they would do it if they weren’t even happy about it in the first place.

That observation was made about my and a girlfriend once, when we were making out at a club. Sometimes a relationship can be perversely (and sexually) satisfying without actually making you “happy.”

if I were starling, I’d be a little put off at how much commotion my appearance in a bar made.

She’s used to it, in fact she barely notices it.

I like the quirk in Pete’s personality that causes him to take notes very meticulously like he does.

Based on a friend I used to know, including the various details I throw in, like the comics he draws featuring people he knows on Star Trek and so on.

I really like the detail you go into from starling’s point of view when she awakes in the middle of the night.

Well, it is important to see her a little from the inside, not just from how people react to her.

Pete sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend does most certainly raise questions as to who’s the crazy one in this situation.. ha!

Exactly. Especially since we already know that Henshaw has a temper, and settles things with his fists. And, as I think I’ve conveyed, Pete is not a fighter.

this part tickles me like you wouldn’t believe:
      starling thought about this. “But he’s annoying me.”
      “He’ll stop.”
      “Immediately!” Carl added.
the whole exchange involving her almost stabbing him is very funny, really.

We’ll get a better sense later on of how much she was serious here, and how much she was playing.

this bit taking place in the February Island coffee shop seems lighthearted. a lot of the chapter does, actually.

Again, the next one won’t be as light. The thing that makes this chapter more serious is that, as much fun as we’re having reading it, we know that Carl and Jenny are about to die.

George is an interesting character–the area he lives in (apparently) seems like a commune. will I be hearing more about this place?

Some. George will be back, but not as a major character. He’s based on a character (of the same name) in Dhalgren.

One thing the search for Deirdre Hammersmith does for us is give us an opportunity to take a little tour of U-town. That’s not why starling is doing it, but it lets us draw back the camera a little and show more than we’ve seen before.

UnderTown.. very interesting.. I really like the idea of a literal town under the town quite a lot. it kind of plays into the fantasy realm of things to me.

Interesting comment. I didn’t do much more with the Undertown, but now (now that you’ve given me a nudge to look in that direction) it will figure in a major way in what I’m writing now. Thanks. 🙂

from the way you describe things, I get the feeling that Jenn and Henshaw’s relationship is NOT, by any means, a happy one. that’d explain why she’s sleeping with Pete too.

Yes. Henshaw is not exactly “emotionally available,” though the relationship gives her a lot of other things. Of course, Pete isn’t really emotionally available either. That side of Jenny (the side that deliberately screws things up, on the basis that they’ll get screwed up eventually anyway, so you might as well eliminate the suspense) is based on a guy I used to know. One time he was involved with four different women (including the one I later married, and her best friend), and I think he knew the whole thing would go bad eventually, so he invited them all out to dinner at the same time, to get it over with.

interesting moment with Carl and Daphne.. kinda surreal.

Daphne is sort of an illustration of how I work. It occurred to me one day that none of the characters had pets. Well, that ended up with Daphne (who is a pretty important character, and who has just re-appeared in what I’m writing now).

I’m not too keen on how jumpy starling gets–I get a feeling that one day she may snatch her gun and start firing away without really thinking.

You’re right.